What is emotional Intelligence? It is described as: the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
As Reiki healers, it can be so easy to fall into the trap…that ego trap…the one that tells us that we are doing just fine…that we are enlightened…compassionate…loving others unconditionally.
Being an instrument in the healing of another is awesome, but we often forget the saying that says: “Healer heal thyself”. We become so immersed in helping others that we forget to help ourselves, and what often happens is that we begin to express ourselves in needy or angry ways; we forget how to express our emotions in a way that is healthy and helpful rather than destructive and damaging. Self Reiki is meant to be a daily practice and one that we practice without fail.
What happens though is that we become complacent, running from one healing session to another, without remembering that this work cannot be done when we are running on empty.
So…Just for today…I will do my self Reiki and allow my body, mind and emotions to be balanced by this Creative healing.
Until next time.
If I take this saying seriously, then I am only able to love others as much as I am able to love myself.
This makes sense from a few angles:
- If I believe that I lack enough resources, then I will not want to share my “little” with someone else. I will want to keep it for myself so that I don’t do without.
- If I believe that I am un-likeable, then I will not be able to share my heart with others as I will not believe that I am worthy
- If I believe that I am stupid, then I will not want to sit in conversation with others as I will feel that I have nothing to offer.
This list of “Ifs” can go on and on depending on our thoughts about ourselves.
Now let’s look at this from the other side;
- If I believe that I am trustworthy, then I will be willing to trust others
- If I believe that I will always have enough, then I will be willing to share what i have
- If I believe that I am smart, then I will want to share and learn from others.
Learning how to love all aspects of ourselves, both light and dark, comes from a variety of ways. All of them require some action from us.
- Gratitude journal. Write 5 things you are grateful for every day. Try not to skip a day.
- Letting go and letting The Divine hold all parts of you-the broken and the radiant.
- Self-Reiki. If you have learnt Reiki I, you will know how to give yourself Reiki. Daily Self-Reiki keeps you balanced and able to think of yourself with compassion.
- Speaking with another person: I have needed professional help in learning to love certain aspects of myself. People who have helped are: Spiritual Directors, Psychologists, Social workers and Narrative Therapists. Sometimes we need to hear stuff from people who don’t know us well.
To end, there is a little exercise that I do which helps me to keep a check on how I am doing on an emotional and mental, and sometimes physical level. I have a attached a short video explain how to do this exercise and how it works.
…I am Gentle and Calm
…I am Grateful for those who’ve gone before
…I work diligently in all areas of my life
…I am compassionate towards myself and others
Nathaniel Branden, the author of “The Psychology of Self-Esteem” and “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” says that the core idea that he has always wanted to teach is: “Your life is important. Honour it. Fight for your highest possibilities.”
As I contemplated these words, a few thoughts came to me. Firstly: Who would I be fighting in order to gain my highest possibilities? The answer came crashing through the usual muddle of thoughts that I have:
Sue the first, and probably the only, person that you would fight is yourself.
These words hit me with such force as the negative-speak which often has priority in my head usually rules over my more positive thoughts.
Secondly: Yes, my life is important, as is every single being on this planet. We each have a vital role to play in the continued well-being of all. A question that came up here for me was: What is your role in this crazy life you have? Well, I live with this question now, asking myself almost daily: “What do you need to do today to live your best life?”
Finally, how do I honour my life? Well, for today, the answer that came through is to know that my life is balanced and in order and all is well. And just for today, that has been achieved through self-Reiki, cleaning my living and working space, eating as healthily and well as I know how at this moment in time, and…Reaching out to share with others.
In love, light and harmony
Two months ago, an old colleague of mine let me know that one of our past pupils had been tragically killed by a car that jumped the pavement. The shock, the disbelief…a six year old child taken from life before she has had a fighting chance at it. The anger at the unknown driver, the grief in knowing how devastated her mother and grandmother were. Their only child/grandchild…gone.
The noise of all these emotions kept everyone going. The noise of the funeral preparations kept her parent and grandparent going. But then comes the silence…the overwhelming silence of never hearing this child call their name again. The silence when they remember that she never got to complete grade one…This is when we grow. This is when we are reminded of the strength of our human spirit.
Hambe kahle Ayabonga, you will never be forgotten.
What causes us to become ill at the most inopportune times? Why is it that students become ill with tonsillitis or a cold at exam time? The higher our stress levels, the more susceptible we seem to become to illnesses. During July this year (Our Winter here in the Southern Hemisphere), I became ill during the most busy period of the month. I was not able to work for two days and my business partner had to carry the load of work for the two of us.
This again made me ponder on why this happens. Deb Shapiro, in “Your Body Speaks Your Mind” says “excessive stress has a direct effect on the immune system, as it lowers the ability to destroy invading viruses and bacteria through the production of adrenaline and cortisol.” Now this made total sense to me as I had seen it time after time within myself. At the times when I needed to function at my best, I would get sick with a cold or have a severe sinus attack.
As I learnt more about the power of our minds over our bodies, I also learnt the tools that can help us alleviate the levels of stress under which we live.
- Meditation: Simple mindfulness meditation. Being aware of our breath and taking the time to sit still for at least 20 minutes (Not an easy task for many of us)
- Reiki: This simple tool reduces our stress levels immensely. The more Reiki we practice (or experience) the more balanced our minds and bodies become.
- Healthy eating: We may have different dietary needs from each other, but we know when we are eating something that is bad for us…Our bodies feel the pain, or the heaviness of it.
- Exercise: Whether we are athletic or not, exercise is vital. Our sedentary lifestyle leads to health issues that our ancestors knew nothing of. So whether you need a lot of exercise, or a simple walk around the block, get moving!
Our health is our responsibility. There are times when we are mean to our bodies and push them beyond their limits…Just for today, let us be more mindful of what we are doing and be conscious of caring for ourselves on every level.
Blessings, love and light to you.
When I started learning Reiki, the thing that intrigued me the most was how calm my Reiki teacher was. My fellow student and myself would arrive for lessons harassed and with a hundred and one reasons why it was impossible to practise self Reiki for a full hour every day. The teacher would just smile and encourage us to give it our concerted effort for at least twenty-one days.
Looking back at that time, I can feel compassion for my younger self. In this world of quick fixes and instant access, it is challenging to slow ourselves down, to take a moment to breathe. It is even more difficult to spend time alone with ones self and give love and compassion which is directed within.
The most encouraging and exciting news that I can give you today is that it really does work. With perseverance, and a little bit of self-love, the daily self Reiki becomes a good and healthy habit. The positive outcome of a daily dose of self Reiki is that fears, worries and anxieties subside.
If you would like to learn how to do self Reiki, my next class begins on the second Sunday in July. The classes are once a week for 7 weeks. The lessons include basic energy healing (learning more detail about chakras, auras and meridians) and Reiki 1.
For more information or to book your space, please contact me via email, whatsapp or telephone.