What is emotional Intelligence? It is described as: the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
As Reiki healers, it can be so easy to fall into the trap…that ego trap…the one that tells us that we are doing just fine…that we are enlightened…compassionate…loving others unconditionally.
Being an instrument in the healing of another is awesome, but we often forget the saying that says: “Healer heal thyself”. We become so immersed in helping others that we forget to help ourselves, and what often happens is that we begin to express ourselves in needy or angry ways; we forget how to express our emotions in a way that is healthy and helpful rather than destructive and damaging. Self Reiki is meant to be a daily practice and one that we practice without fail.
What happens though is that we become complacent, running from one healing session to another, without remembering that this work cannot be done when we are running on empty.
So…Just for today…I will do my self Reiki and allow my body, mind and emotions to be balanced by this Creative healing.
Until next time.
A creative activity which can help you symbolically hand your worries, fears and anxieties over . Whether you prefer to give your worries to Godde, your angels or simply put them in a worry box, it is the act of handing them over that relieves our minds and hearts of so much excess, unhelpful baggage.
The idea is to write each worry, fear, anxiety on to a separate piece of paper of place it the box. You will notice that the box has no opening. The lid has been glued on tight. The reason for this is so that we do not go digging out these pieces of paper to remind ourselves of our worries. This is truly a physical representation of handing our worries over.
You will need:
A shoe box (or any box will work)
Pictures from magazines, calenders
Hodge podge (or wood glue) to paint over all the pictures and hold them in place
Play some music that speaks to your soul. Some of my favourites are: Leonard Cohen, Gentle Reiki music such as Tranquility, The Light Touch or any music that helps you relax.
Allow your eyes to pick pictures that first attract them. Try not to think or reason why these particular pictures. Enjoy the creative, meditative time.
Watch the video which explains a little more.
If I take this saying seriously, then I am only able to love others as much as I am able to love myself.
This makes sense from a few angles:
- If I believe that I lack enough resources, then I will not want to share my “little” with someone else. I will want to keep it for myself so that I don’t do without.
- If I believe that I am un-likeable, then I will not be able to share my heart with others as I will not believe that I am worthy
- If I believe that I am stupid, then I will not want to sit in conversation with others as I will feel that I have nothing to offer.
This list of “Ifs” can go on and on depending on our thoughts about ourselves.
Now let’s look at this from the other side;
- If I believe that I am trustworthy, then I will be willing to trust others
- If I believe that I will always have enough, then I will be willing to share what i have
- If I believe that I am smart, then I will want to share and learn from others.
Learning how to love all aspects of ourselves, both light and dark, comes from a variety of ways. All of them require some action from us.
- Gratitude journal. Write 5 things you are grateful for every day. Try not to skip a day.
- Letting go and letting The Divine hold all parts of you-the broken and the radiant.
- Self-Reiki. If you have learnt Reiki I, you will know how to give yourself Reiki. Daily Self-Reiki keeps you balanced and able to think of yourself with compassion.
- Speaking with another person: I have needed professional help in learning to love certain aspects of myself. People who have helped are: Spiritual Directors, Psychologists, Social workers and Narrative Therapists. Sometimes we need to hear stuff from people who don’t know us well.
To end, there is a little exercise that I do which helps me to keep a check on how I am doing on an emotional and mental, and sometimes physical level. I have a attached a short video explain how to do this exercise and how it works.
Nathaniel Branden, the author of “The Psychology of Self-Esteem” and “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” says that the core idea that he has always wanted to teach is: “Your life is important. Honour it. Fight for your highest possibilities.”
As I contemplated these words, a few thoughts came to me. Firstly: Who would I be fighting in order to gain my highest possibilities? The answer came crashing through the usual muddle of thoughts that I have:
Sue the first, and probably the only, person that you would fight is yourself.
These words hit me with such force as the negative-speak which often has priority in my head usually rules over my more positive thoughts.
Secondly: Yes, my life is important, as is every single being on this planet. We each have a vital role to play in the continued well-being of all. A question that came up here for me was: What is your role in this crazy life you have? Well, I live with this question now, asking myself almost daily: “What do you need to do today to live your best life?”
Finally, how do I honour my life? Well, for today, the answer that came through is to know that my life is balanced and in order and all is well. And just for today, that has been achieved through self-Reiki, cleaning my living and working space, eating as healthily and well as I know how at this moment in time, and…Reaching out to share with others.
In love, light and harmony
Two months ago, an old colleague of mine let me know that one of our past pupils had been tragically killed by a car that jumped the pavement. The shock, the disbelief…a six year old child taken from life before she has had a fighting chance at it. The anger at the unknown driver, the grief in knowing how devastated her mother and grandmother were. Their only child/grandchild…gone.
The noise of all these emotions kept everyone going. The noise of the funeral preparations kept her parent and grandparent going. But then comes the silence…the overwhelming silence of never hearing this child call their name again. The silence when they remember that she never got to complete grade one…This is when we grow. This is when we are reminded of the strength of our human spirit.
Hambe kahle Ayabonga, you will never be forgotten.
Every day there are so many issues that bring my blood to the boil!
-Trophy hunting…Shooting our beloved wild animals just so that their paw or head or tail can be dragged out at every occasion to prove that some sissy pants came all the way to wildest Africa to wrestle with the untamed. SHAME ON YOU!!! http://www.msn.com/en-za/travel/news/zimbabwes-most-famous-lion-found-decapitated-outside-national-park/ar-AAdxCij
-Children with Guns…Children shooting children and having access to guns!! My blood boils!!!! Boy (14) goes on shooting rampage in Johannesburg central
But in Reiki, a principle we learn is: Just for today I will not anger. What can possibly be meant by this? How can this be possible when there are so many issues that create such deep anger?
Anger arises mostly out of the feeling that you have lost control; when you become angry with someone or something you feel that you will regain it in some measure. But the truth is, we are powerless over people, places and things. How we react to situations can either add fuel to a roaring fire or can deprive the issue of oxygen and bring a degree of peace.
If you observe your anger as it arises you will see that it reflects something about you that needs attention, rather than a shortcoming in the person with whom you are angry.This seems impossible in the light of some of the issues that cause the anger, but if truth be told, I know that I am quite capable of being destructive and I am the only one I can do something about.
So…Become an observer of your anger (just for today) before you express it and you may just realise there isn’t anything to be angry about.
When I started learning Reiki, the thing that intrigued me the most was how calm my Reiki teacher was. My fellow student and myself would arrive for lessons harassed and with a hundred and one reasons why it was impossible to practise self Reiki for a full hour every day. The teacher would just smile and encourage us to give it our concerted effort for at least twenty-one days.
Looking back at that time, I can feel compassion for my younger self. In this world of quick fixes and instant access, it is challenging to slow ourselves down, to take a moment to breathe. It is even more difficult to spend time alone with ones self and give love and compassion which is directed within.
The most encouraging and exciting news that I can give you today is that it really does work. With perseverance, and a little bit of self-love, the daily self Reiki becomes a good and healthy habit. The positive outcome of a daily dose of self Reiki is that fears, worries and anxieties subside.
If you would like to learn how to do self Reiki, my next class begins on the second Sunday in July. The classes are once a week for 7 weeks. The lessons include basic energy healing (learning more detail about chakras, auras and meridians) and Reiki 1.
For more information or to book your space, please contact me via email, whatsapp or telephone.