2019 is already well into the third month! So much is happening and it’s happening at a very fast pace. We need to keep our sanity and to have times of switching our thoughts away from the hustle and bustle and busyness.
In 2013, after my husband passed on from this life, I went for grief counselling. At one of the sessions, we were talking about taking time out to breathe. Things can get pretty intense when winding up an estate while dealing with grief. Going away to a restful haven was not possible and so my counsellor suggested that I create tiny pockets of peace right in my own home. Her suggestion was to start with one small section and then, if I wanted to, create a haven in each room, so that no matter where I went, there was a place to sit apart and catch my breath.
This was one of the most exciting and yet challenging suggestions that she made to me. It has stayed with me, and now 6 years later, there are a few havens around the home. Spaces that bring my soul peace.
My cozy library corner: There is a little dead end in my home that has made the perfect little library. I go here to sit and read and relax my mind.
Stillness and Grounding: This space above my piano gives me little pockets of stilling my mind and grounding me when my mind gets too filled with worries.
Prayers and meditation: All these little icons bring my soul to place of stillness.
If I take this saying seriously, then I am only able to love others as much as I am able to love myself.
This makes sense from a few angles:
If I believe that I lack enough resources, then I will not want to share my “little” with someone else. I will want to keep it for myself so that I don’t do without.
If I believe that I am un-likeable, then I will not be able to share my heart with others as I will not believe that I am worthy
If I believe that I am stupid, then I will not want to sit in conversation with others as I will feel that I have nothing to offer.
This list of “Ifs” can go on and on depending on our thoughts about ourselves.
Now let’s look at this from the other side;
If I believe that I am trustworthy, then I will be willing to trust others
If I believe that I will always have enough, then I will be willing to share what i have
If I believe that I am smart, then I will want to share and learn from others.
Learning how to love all aspects of ourselves, both light and dark, comes from a variety of ways. All of them require some action from us.
Gratitude journal. Write 5 things you are grateful for every day. Try not to skip a day.
Letting go and letting The Divine hold all parts of you-the broken and the radiant.
Self-Reiki. If you have learnt Reiki I, you will know how to give yourself Reiki. Daily Self-Reiki keeps you balanced and able to think of yourself with compassion.
Speaking with another person: I have needed professional help in learning to love certain aspects of myself. People who have helped are: Spiritual Directors, Psychologists, Social workers and Narrative Therapists. Sometimes we need to hear stuff from people who don’t know us well.
To end, there is a little exercise that I do which helps me to keep a check on how I am doing on an emotional and mental, and sometimes physical level. I have a attached a short video explain how to do this exercise and how it works.
The subtle body is connected to the physical body by energy vortexes called chakras. Essential oils can stimulate and assist in the process of awakening, healing, opening and strengthening the chakras. Essential oils are the spirit (the essence) of plants. The oils can be used on acupuncture or shiatsu points and to massage and on the chakras when doing meditation and using visualization. They can be applied directly on the physical body (add to a little carrier oil first).
The first Chakra: Fears: Fears of physical survival, abandonment by the group, and the loss of physical disorder. Strengths: Tribal/family identity, bonding, and the tribal honour code; the support and loyalty that give one a sense of safety and connection to the physical world.
Suggested pure essential oils: peppermint, frankincense, cedarwood, myrrh, ginger, and benzoin.
The second Chakra: Fears: Fears of loss of control, or being controlled by another, through the dominating power of events or conditions such as addiction, rape, betrayal, impotence, financial loss, abandonment by our primary partner or professional colleagues. Also fears of the loss of power of the physical body. Strengths: The ability and stamina to survive financially and physically on one’s own and to defend and protect one’s self; the ‘fight or flight’ instinct; the ability to take risks; the resilience to recover from loss whether family members, partners, property, occupation, or finances; the power to rebel and re-establish a life; and personal and professional decision-making ability and talent.
Suggested pure essential oils: Ylang Ylang, cinnamon, petitgrain, myrrh, pine cypress, rose geranium, geranium.
The Third Chakra: Fears: Fears of rejection, criticism, looking foolish, and failing to meet one’s responsibilities; all fears related to physical appearance, such as a fear of obesity, baldness, or ageing; fears that others will discover our secrets. Strengths: Self-esteem, self-respect, and self-discipline; ambition, the ability to generate action, and the ability to handle a crisis; the courage to take risks; generosity, ethics, and strength of character.
The Fourth Chakra: Fears: Fears of loneliness, commitment, and ‘following one’s heart’; fear of inability to protect oneself emotionally; fear of emotional weakness and betrayal. Loss of fourth chakra energy can give rise to jealousy, bitterness, anger, hatred, and an inability to forgive others as well as oneself. Strengths: Love, forgiveness, compassion, dedication, inspiration, hope, trust, and the ability to heal oneself and others.
The fifth Chakra: Fears: Fears relating to our willpower exist within each chakra, appropriate to that chakra. We fear having no authority or power of choice within our own lives, first within our tribes, then within our personal and professional relationships. Then we fear having no authority with our selves, being out of control when it comes to our response to substances, to money, to power, to another person’s emotional control over our well-being. And finally, we fear the will of God. The notion of releasing our power of choice to a Divine force remains the greatest struggle for the individual seeking to become conscious. Strengths: Faith, self-knowledge, and personal authority; the capacity to make decisions knowing that no matter what decision we make, we can keep our word to ourselves or another person.
Suggested pure essential oils: Lavender, spearmint, frankincense, cypress.
The Sixth Chakra: Fears: An unwillingness to go within and excavate one’s fears; fear of truth when one’s reason is clouded; fear of sound, realistic judgement; fear of relying on external counsel; of discipline; fear of one’s own shadow side and its attributes. Strengths: Intellectual abilities and skills; evaluation of conscious and unconscious insights; receiving inspiration; generating great acts of creativity and intuitive reasoning-emotional intelligence.
Suggested pure essential oils: Frankincense, cedarwood, pine, rosemary, thyme.
The seventh Chakra: Fears: Fears relating to spiritual issues such as the ‘dark night of the soul’; fears of spiritual abandonment, loss of identity, and loss of connection with life and people around us. Strengths: Faith in the presence of the Divine, and in all that faith represents within one’s life-such as inner guidance, insight into healing, and a quality of trust that eclipses ordinary human fears; devotion.
Suggested pure essential oils: Benzoin, frankincense, myrrh, lavender, ravensara, basil and rosemary.